Getting Married at CABI
Elisabeth Sonersen
As I sat down to tell a story about Congregation Ahavath Beth Israel, I first had to sort through all the ways the synagogue and the members of the congregation have been a part of my life in the Treasure Valley. Attending Friday night services before moving here and being given a late-night tour of downtown during the crazy party that was the River Festival. Making my first Boise friend at a gathering of young adults at Flying M after shabbat worship. My wife going into labor with our second child, again, on a Friday night at CABI. But one of the most important things to happen to me at CABI was not on a Friday night but a Sunday morning—getting married.
The historic synagogue was moved to its present location on Latah street in October of 2003 and we were married in April 2004, having the honor of being the first wedding (and one of the first big events) held in the new location. One of the things we really wanted for our wedding was a way for our friends to participate. To this end, we put a 12” by 12” square of fabric in the envelope with each invitation, asking people to decorate the square as they were so inspired and return them to us a few weeks before the ceremony. These squares were sewn together to create our huppah, a real canopy of love.
We set up our huppah at the front of the historic building in our home-made supports--flower pots filled with cement and PVC pipes. But we had not realized how much our patchwork quilt huppah would weigh and the poles wouldn’t stand upright. In the end, the huppah was also tethered to the choir loft railing so it wouldn’t fall over on us.
As two independent women in our 30s, we walked ourselves down the aisle to music provided by friends in the congregation. There we joined Rabbi Dan on the bimah to declare our love and be married in the eyes of our community (but not the law as same-sex marriage was not yet recognized in the US). After the ceremony, we went across to the new social hall where we had our ketubah on display. This wedding contract, hand-written by a member of the congregation, would be our marriage license and certificate for 9 years, until we could be legally married.
Ultimately, then and now, what matters to us is that we are members of a congregation that supports our relationship, where our union is acknowledged just like any other couple, and our family is just another family.
